Feel it all around

Today was the last day of school for me and I am going to miss it so much, I took a  theater arts class because I knew the nicest people I would ever meet at my new school would be in that class, and you know what? I was right. Like most people, I am afraid of change. After going to such a small school for so many years with the same people, I grew comfortable wrapped in the arms of its ever-present constant. Now I have fled the cocoon of safety and I felt utterly alone, it is a true shock to be separated from friends you love not only by a few towns like before, but by hundreds of miles. After being so myself with the same people, how would I make new friends in a new school? Will I be liked? Will I be judged? Will I need to buy new clothes to impress my fellow students? I had made up my mind, "I'm not here to make friends," I told myself, "I'm here to learn."  the first day of school I got to the door of my class and waited with a large group of people. I could tell right away the people who knew each other and who were new. I asked a girl if she knew what the teacher looked like and how I couldn't tell students and teachers apart at community colleges. We laughed and waited together for the teacher. That was the first person I talked to at school her name is Paola and we are now close friends. over the next few weeks I got quite comfortable with Paola and just acted like myself, people began to approach me and tell me that they thought I dressed nice and I had a cute personality, I finally felt that I belonged. Sure it wasn't all easy, it was after all a drama class so there was a bit off stage too. I was having a bit of boy trouble, but Cindy, Paola, Heather, and Cinda helped me out a lot.

We worked very hard together and put on a play called Medea,

it's a Greek play about betrayal, revenge, and murder. I played a chorus leader, I'm the only non-returning student to get a part with that many lines. The chorus are basically the town's people, we didn't stand on stage we stood surrounding the audience to have the sound of our united voices bounce around the room. Because I wasn't on stage I didn't invite anyone besides my immediate family to come see it, they were so sweet and they got to meet my friends which I was happy about. They gave me flowers after the performance, isn't that the cutest?

here is what I'll miss most, the people I have met, obviously, but what I'll miss most is what we did back stage together...

(Paola)

playing with the plastic forks that were always there but had no reason to be...

creeping each other out with our weird masks...

(Paola and Cindy)

hanging out with my girls...

our little photo shoots...

(Cindy, Cinda, Heather)

Johnny's dance lessons before the show.

It's really flabbergasting to me to realize that I have only known there people for five months and yet I feel as if they too went to High School with me; to know what they would so for me, to protect me from harm, and what I in turn would do for them. "I give you my heart (for love is not blind) as you are forced to part from friends who love you, and will love you forever, alone."

XOXO, ashLEIGH.

"My world would be a wonderland" - Alice

I suppose it is not until you are much older when you see what little things played such a big role in your life, for me it was classic Walt Disney movies.

 This weekend I went to Disneyland for the seventh time in my life and while my friend Jessica and I were finding things to do that I had never done I realized there were a lot of things I had never seen or done there this is me with Excalibur, I had never seen tried to pull it out before because I had never seen it. I was really excited to try, I know that it only releases once a day... it did not release for me :( but that is okay.

 That day I realized just how much i learned from those movies and stories.

I realized that when i was a kid I hated sitting through the opening credits when it was just a chorus singing, paintings of main characters and names of people I didn't know... And now I love it! I get so excited when i see that castle and tinker bell, and the Walt Disney Pictures title.

Steam Boat Willy is my favorite! I really loved all of the black and white cartoons. I loved waking up on Saturday mornings and singing "M-I-C*K-E-Y*M-O-U-S-E"

Disney taught me that family is where you feel safest,

 where your heart is where your home is, family is a sanctuary

Disney taught me that family, is the most important thing of all.

Disney taught me to never give up. Especially on myself.

Disney taught me to be who I want to be, and to always dream, because nothing is impossible.

Now I'm learning that even though I'm grown, I can still keep some of my child hood, and that is what I intend to do by disneybounding every outfit! (Family, this is Disneybound click here but be where its addicting... )

Most importantly Disney taught me to believe in happy endings because life would be awfully sad without them.

so I will continue to wait for my prince charming...

I'll keep having fun and sometimes act childish...

And I'll live happily ever after.

Now I have to go, because lord knows...

XOXO, ashLEIGH

The things that are started out of boredom

 One day I decide to paint my nails but I didn't want just one color, I wanted something special! So I bagan to look up nail tutorials on you tube, I found some really fun ones ant it just took off from there...
Now I'm addicted! I'm like a pro at painting left handed now :) which helps me with one of my life goals, becoming ambidextrous. (score!)
Sometimes I'll get an idea from Pintrest, or my friends will challenge me :) at school I get a lot of compliments on them so I decided to post some of my latest ones...






Valentines day.

 

 Cupcakes! (I was missing my Jamie, she calls me cupcake so I did these for her.)

 Strawberries, good enough to eat.

 Owls, in honor of Harry potter on blue ray.

Tuxedos, because i was feelin' fancy ;)

these are inspired by the stain glass windows of castio's in Italy (I was missing it a lot)






XOXO, ashLEIGH

who remembers the 80's?

who remembers the 80's? Its the title of a mix CD of Regina's but lately I have been on an 80's movies kick I just cant seem to get enough the one above I'm sure you (my readers) recognize but I am sad to say a lot of the world including my generation recognize as a spoof on this movie from newer movies and TV shows but they don't know it as a spoof which make me and my girl friends like Jamie and Jessica (the Blondies) (Chelsea is the brunette she is a good friend but she isn't as in to movies as the rest of us) any way it makes us

sad, we had a whole conversation about it while watching Say Anything the other day, so i decided to make a list of 16 of our favorite 80's movies be prepared for a lot of Molly Ringwald and Anthony Michael Hall so here we go:

  16 . Ghost Busters because hey even if you haven't watched the movies you know the song.

 15 . Beetle Juice because it was like one of the first funny scary movies I can remember 

 14 . Zapped, this movie is soooooo cheezy but that is the same thing that makes it great.

 13 . Revenge of the Nerds, because i do love nerds and because its a fun movie.

 12 . Fast times at Ridgemont High

because "hey dude lets party" actually i like that Sean Penn was one of the smallest least important characters but he stole the whole show.

  11. Valley Girl reason 

#1 because Nicholas Cage is super hot in it.

#2 because it has stupes one liners that have no importance and make me laugh like "lets crush that fly." and "cool is this movie in 3D? *****

No. But your face is!" 

  10. Bill and Ted's Excellent adventure because it taught us about history and to "be excellent to each other"

plus, Vannah and I like then Bill says "Ted, dont be dead dude..." it was one of our first DVDs so we would watch it on a loop and memorize the lines. 

   09. Labyrinth is on this list for one reason and one alone. David Bowie.

   08. Pretty in Pink, because Duckie is the cutest :) and because he sings Otis Redding! I love the movies with random song numbers.

  07. The Breakfast Club, because it taught us that a day in weekend detention can undo years of ignoring each other, self loathing, stealing, bullying, stealing, vanity, and become friends through all there differences and make out leaving the poor nerdy boy still the odd man out...

 06. Sixteen Candles. Do I even need to say why this is on here? ill just tell you there are 5  reasons why:

1. the sister on muscle relaxers and when she says "Samantha, you're really being... an a** hole."

2. Long Duck Dong
3. Farmer Ted

4. Because we all know how it feels to be in love with someone who doesn't know you exist

5. JAKE RYAN!!!! HELLO!!!!

05. The Goonies, because I wish my childhood adventures were that exciting. Also I love the "truffle shuffle" "Boobie traps" and heck i just love The Goonies.

04.  Ferris Bueller's Day off.

oh so many reasons:

1. Bueller...? Bueller...? Bueller?

2. I wish I had this day playing hookie

3. it has a random song and dance number

03. Say Anything. I already covered this but its because i love Lloyd Dobler he is pretty close to the perfect man that is realistic not like Mr. Darcy or Edward Cullen but he is pretty close to an actual person.

02. The Princess Bride, three words: 

"As you wish."

 

01. The Jerk, it is the funniest most under appreciated comedy of all time probably... and this is for my family who know all the lines in this movie because it was the only VHS they owned...

I'm picking out a Thermos for you. Not an ordinary Thermos for you. But the extra best Thermos that you can buy, with vinyl and stripes and a cup built right in. And what else can i buy so on me you'll rely, a rear end thermometer too. 

 I love you guys thank you for reading, xoxo ashLEIGH

what do you do?

one minute  its all fun, and the next you are no longer a child, you can no longer act like a child and play you have to be serious. move out in to the real world, if the world wants you... sometimes you can feel so abandoned, so unbelievably sad. 

sometimes i think i cant keep afloat and then a bunch of terrible things happen and i feel even more helpless. i have a sister who is hurting a best friend who is miserable and another friend who is heartbroken and watching all this pain around me, and my secret pain makes me feel like i want to crawl under a rock, maybe i can hide behind mom and dad for a few more years and pretend that i'm not a high school  graduate... i am just so done. 


im done with pretending i know what i want. 
im done with stupid boys
im done worrying 
im done trying to force myself to grow up because its "socially acceptable"
im done caring what society thinks
im just so done
with things that shouldn't concern me, because im still young. and dang it! i don't have a problem so you know what college students who give sorry looks and say you're so young
 stuff you!
you don't know a thing you are still growing up yourself! get off my age start acting you're own.
im not quite sure when this depressed post became an angry rant... please don't read too much in to this post, im not depressed im just stressed and stress combined with long day and late night and blog are apparently  bad combination. but im posting this any way because i promised my self i would start doing this more often, blogging, writing as my self, keeping up on plane and tall for Regina. 


thank you for reading, untill next time 


xoxo, ashleigh

Regina Ring

this one is for you

She would be mad at me for doing this... Regina was my mom's best friend they met freshman year in High School, she was like an aunt to me and my sister. I mean she has been in my life longer than some of my actual family members, she has been in my life for a long time. 

And she was one of my most dedicated readers, she really believed in my blog and in my robot shirts she helped me so much in getting to Italy.

It's so hard to believe that l won't see her ever again...

every time i had seen her she would say, "hey why haven't you been writing on your blog lately? l have it bookmarked on my computer at work, l check it all the time just to see if you have updated it." and l would always give some lame excuse why l wasn't writing...

I wish i would have told her how much she meant to me, how much she still means to me... how all of the holidays felt empty as i got older but not when l was with her because she made them so fun. How l will always think of her when ever l see a picture of a fairy or a moon and stars l always think of her. that all of my successful partys were thanks to her. how when she started writing more than her name in our cards, and started writing paragraphs and that she loved us it meant so much. 

We love you Regina.

Thank you for being such an important person in my life, in all of our lives.

time and how it is always passing

           it has come to my attention that time is never enough, there is too much or too little, either way we are always trying to keep up with it, and we plan our life around it. being in my last year of High school I find myself reflecting on the aspect of time a lot, looking back, looking forward.

 It is a scary thing to go through changes, especially when I'm so comfortable in this small world that has been created here at Grove this is my home, i feel like i belong here. everyone is so excepting of everyone and kind and weird, w all fit in, i could et along just fine right here forever... but i would never learn to accept change, i would never have experience in the outside world, i would never further my education, i would never pursue my dreams and fulfill my ambitions.

  I guess time is always fleeting so that we can choose to keep up, time gives us a chance for more time, thats why it gives new minutes hours months years, so that we can move on, and now I am too.

XOXO moustachleigh